[sv]relative]googler's corner

Sonic Vegemite is, of course, an increasingly popular website - which means that we're listed quite a lot on the major search engines. The interesting part is exactly what we're listed under. This, then, is the long-awaited return of Googler's Corner, where with the assistance of my new trusty stats tracker (histats.com, listed here in lieu of sullying my front page with an advertising image), we're about to find out exactly what some people appear to believe Sonic Vegemite contains...

[corner]season one
Googler's Corner #1: May 2005 Googler's Corner #2: June 2005 Googler's Corner #3: July 2005 Googler's Corner #4: September 2005

[regular]searches

garlique commercial

Do you know what scares me about this search? What scares me is that this search hit Sonic Vegemite three times. Well, one of those was "garlique ad" but it still counts. Ye gods.

sonic and funny cows

Absolutely.

"we're happy little vegemites as bright as bright can be"

Yay. I am actually legitimately providing people with the lyrics to Happy Little Vegemite. Now I feel like I've done my bit for the world!

sport_ shelsea foot bool

I appreciate that I have a large international readership, but two things about this scare me: 1) That the Chelsea Football Club's name can be murdered like this, and 2) That in order to result in a hit, these words must therefore actually appear on SV somewhere.

free 4 page book report on 101 dalmatians

Not that anyone wants their work done for them at all. If I was nasty I'd go and check if there's a Book-A-Minute page on 101 Dalmatians and link to that. If there isn't one, I guess "Dogs outwit crazy evil woman, probably some metaphors somewhere" will do.

customizing cars

How. On. Earth. Did. This. Wind. Up. Here?

vegemite for sale oregon

Wow, I'm turning into Toxic Custard's Guide to Australia. I'm not sure if they do Oregon specifically, but Australian Products Co. ought to be able to ship something to you.

bill gates owns 49% of apple

Again, how did we wind up here? I saw about four million Snopes or wannabe-Snopes sites disavowing this little rumour before SV was even mentioned.

sonic his world frets on fire

'Cuz he'z got tha dope soundzz rockin' on tha ster-e-o-e-o, know what I'm sayin'? Please tell me you were looking for the instrumental version. Please.

monsieur mangetout

...I give up. What part of "popular video game character fandom" equates to people as "French bloke that eats metal"? Where is the translation that makes this mental process make sense, someone please tell me?

fury of the furries how could I play

This no doubt left someone at one of Popeman's WCMOs, as he's the only person I know who knows anything about the probably-now-abandonware Fury of the Furries. I'm not sure if our searcher specifically needed to ask "how could I play" though. Again, some people just don't know how search engines work.

futurama itemss

I wonder if this is the same person who requested "things about sonic x" back in 2005? Actually, if it was them, they've kinda gone backwards, because at least back then they didn't needlessly duplicate the "s" at the end. Does the extra "s" help?

vegemite retard

That wins. No really, that wins. Could somebody please explain to me what, precisely, is a "vegemite retard"? (*waits for everyone who ever hated SV to reply "LOL U R VEGEMITE RETRD MATT_TY BCOZ U SUXXORZ LOL"*)

londonisms

Cor blimey guv'nor, and other such Cockney clich�s. I realise I'm only going to encourage further searches on this phrase now, but... wow. Why here?

link sprite

Surely, surely, you can find a LoZ fansite on this easier than you can find us? What about "Sonic Vegemite" screams "Link Sprite" to people?

ing cheats sonic rush gaem

"Gaem?" You're kidding, right? Again, I thought only deliberate parodies spelt it like this. I hate humanity, so let's end it there.

[hentai]searches

It would appear that three years of continuously not providing Sonic hentai have slightly dulled our searchers on the idea that we might, and certainly we're not getting requests for other series like we used to. The hits we've been getting from the more desperate end of Googler's Corner are actually fairly boring ones like "sonic porn", "sonic team porn" (what, do they want NiGHTS too?), and "sonic hentai". Although we did have our stats brightened with a request for the interestingly-phrased "sonic and amy on porn site". You have to wonder about some people.