[sv]creative]hoaxing rules

You want to hoax on SV? Please, PLEASE help me out by sticking to these guidelines.

[1]file sizes

1a. I do not accept unzipped multiple BMP file submissions, or any email that arrives in my box as 850Kb+. (This means you can't hide your BMP files by just "calling" them GIF files. They're still too big. Don't do it.) You do this, your mail gets deleted unread.

1b. When I say I want GIF or JPG, I mean it. I'm saying this 'cos they're smaller files. I don't care if you can sneakily rename your BMP file to GIF in Windows Explorer, if it's still six million KB it still inconveniences me just as much. Actually convert it, or you're wasting my time.

[2]content

2a. My site is going for a PG-13 rating. Furthermore, I am not a fan of Farelly brothers movies. (Except Me, Myself & Irene.) Still. You want to be disgusting as opposed to funny, you do it on someone else's web space. Some of you do not seem to be taking the point on this one. The basic rule is: if Adam Sandler thinks it's funny, I don't.

2b. A 'hoax' is called what it is because it looks a little like a real screenshot. If you stick three sprites you ripped off from Dan Sidney, and a single platform you ripped off of SFGHQ, onto a blank blue screen, this is not a 'hoax' this is a 'crappy picture'. Furthermore, a hoax is NOT 700 pixels long by 400 high. The ideal size is 320x240. If your hoax is even half as bad as this, please save both of our efforts and don't send it in. If this is your hoax quality, then either learn more about hoaxing - I will be happy to help - or just stop.

2c. Don't mix'n'match Advance sprites and backgrounds with non-Advance ones unless that's the entire point of the hoax. If the point of your hoax is that it's a Sonic Advance/Sonic 3 crossover or some such, then that's alright. However, if you're just doing a gag hoax and you shove the Advance sprites on a Sonic 3 background because you couldn't be bothered ripping some Sonic 3 sprites from the game / leeching them off the 'Net, then that's not good enough.

2d. Do each hoax once. Someone sent me two hoaxes of Shadow in Emerald Hill, the only difference in the second one being that he was _running_. Shadow. Emerald Hill. You already got your point across. This also applies to ideas in other people's hoaxes.
Exception: a two-parter hoax, which I will happy combine into an AniGIF for you if asked.

2e. Finally, if your hoax depends on a bit of writing, such as a joke hoax:
Spell.
And.
Punctuate.
Correctly.
If you don't know how, then Learn. I'm not saying you need to win spelling bees or anything, but just don't irritate me by writing "omg u r stuck in the ice sonic".

[3]submission

3: Submission
3a. emcee_n at hotmail dot com is now the only address for all your SV submission needs.
3b. Yes, I want an icon. You don't have to have one, but your button will look stupid otherwise. Also, if you're emailing me hoaxes and your signoff name is different from the one on your 'From:' header, for the love of Pete TELL ME what you want to be called. I use people's signoff names by default.

3c. The person who decides what goes on SV is me. Not you. Do not write me angry emails because not every single one of your hoaxes was posted. I usually either:
- lost it,
- didn't get it, or
- rejected it.
If I rejected it, I will be happy to tell you why, and what you can do to improve. All you have to do is ask. Nicely. If you ask angrily, I will not answer.

3d. Finally, just because I posted your hoaxes does not mean I will automatically post those of your entire extended family and friends. I'm quite within my rights to reject a hoaxer entirely, if I don't like their hoaxes, no matter who on SV they know. I frequently reject hoaxes from my _own brother_, for cryin' out loud. I occasionally reject _my own_ hoaxes.
This does not mean I'll automatically reject your cousin's hoaxes, though. They just have to be good hoaxes, like with everyone else.

Here, therefore, is the worst possible email submission I could get:
File size: 4.2 MB
Content: 33 unzipped bmp hoaxes. Of these 33, 27 are appalling, 3 involve diarrhoea, and 5 are near-identical. 12 are incomplete.
(And yes, I know that adds up to more than 33: some are both appalling and incomplete.) From: A current hoaxer's completely talentless nine-year-old cousin. (apologies to any talented nine-year-old cousins out there ^_^)
Message: >"SonicCoolGuy" <----@-------.com>wrote: >OK I KNOw [insert hoaxer's name here] AND WE THNK YOUR SITE IS COL. I MADE SOME COOL HOXES TOO BUT THY ARE NOT ALL FINISSHED. JUST PUT THE SONC IN THEM FOR ME. >U BETTER PUT AL OF THEM UP NOW. I HV LOTS MORE. > - FROM TROY.

...Okay? Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Just remember, I'm just a guy doing this site in my spare time. So cut me a break, OK?